TALES FROM A PARAMEDIC, PILOT, CAVER, and FIREFIGHTER, WHO MEET IN ANTARCTICA, AND GO ON TO HAVE MANY ADVENTURES IN NEW ZEALAND, TONGA, FIJI, VANUATU, WEST AFRICA, AND UKRAINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structural Firefighting/ARFF/Joint Antarctic Search and Rescue Team at McMurdo Station Winfly- Summer- Winterover. Sailing a 37' Tayana sailboat in the South Pacific. Ebola Response. Wildland firefighting. War Medic in Ukraine.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Dorm 201 - my summer home
My dorm room, stocked with books for winter, lounge, bathrooms, trash sorting categories and skua- 2nd hand goods bin, view from the dorm
Friday, February 5, 2010
McMurdo Film Festival- View from my Window
-not for sale or reproduction, thanks to producer, film from i drive
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Antartic Fire Department Supply Line Debate
From: Bragg, Captain (Contractor) Sent: Saturday, January 30, 2010 12:56 AMTo: MCM-Firehouse-All: AFD Supply line survey
Below I have attached a document that I put together to try to help determine objectively what supply line should be carried and used by the AFD in the future. This is what I could put together quickly, please review it if you would and reply with any comments and/or corrections that you might have. I am looking for opinions and suggestions that will help with the process. As always 50 minds should be better than 1 looking at this. And I do have to thank Lt. Hinshilwood and FF/DO Walsh for the assistance and comments.
Please review and send me any comments by Tues. February 2nd.
Thanks.
Antarctic Fire Department Supply Line Survey
January 29, 2010
The selected maximum supply hose line length for these calculations is 1400’. This was selected based upon the distance from hydrant #4 at MMI to building 191 the Carpentry Shop. There are buildings in McMurdo that are further from a hydrant, but this is the furthest regularly occupied building from a water supply.
The calculations are based on available water flow from the hydrant. The ISO method shows a required fire flow of 2850 gpm for total involvement. So obviously the available water flow from the water system is the limiting factor. The latest hydrant flow data from hydrant #4 is 600 gpm. This data is from March of 2008 and the test was conducted with no additional pumping assistance from the water plant. Therefore, we could get 600+ gpm from this hydrant; the actual flow will require further testing.
With our current fleet in full operating condition we can support this operation at 600 gpm. It would require a dual 3” hose lay and an intermediate engine to relay pump to achieve this goal. Thing go down hill quickly at flows past 600 gpm.
Now jumping to a single lay 4” LDH we can expect some different results. At the 600 gpm flow rate, a single 1400’ line will be more than adequate. The limit for and 4” or 5” supply hose is 165 psi FL due to the maximum allowable pressure of an LDH of 185 psi and the required residual intake pressure of 20 psi. Using these numbers, you can see that the 4” hose begins to limit hose lengths at higher flows. At 800 gpm the maximum allowable length is 1300 feet. And at 1000 gpm the maximum allowable length is 900 feet.
Below I have attached a document that I put together to try to help determine objectively what supply line should be carried and used by the AFD in the future. This is what I could put together quickly, please review it if you would and reply with any comments and/or corrections that you might have. I am looking for opinions and suggestions that will help with the process. As always 50 minds should be better than 1 looking at this. And I do have to thank Lt. Hinshilwood and FF/DO Walsh for the assistance and comments.
Please review and send me any comments by Tues. February 2nd.
Thanks.
Antarctic Fire Department Supply Line Survey
January 29, 2010
The selected maximum supply hose line length for these calculations is 1400’. This was selected based upon the distance from hydrant #4 at MMI to building 191 the Carpentry Shop. There are buildings in McMurdo that are further from a hydrant, but this is the furthest regularly occupied building from a water supply.
The calculations are based on available water flow from the hydrant. The ISO method shows a required fire flow of 2850 gpm for total involvement. So obviously the available water flow from the water system is the limiting factor. The latest hydrant flow data from hydrant #4 is 600 gpm. This data is from March of 2008 and the test was conducted with no additional pumping assistance from the water plant. Therefore, we could get 600+ gpm from this hydrant; the actual flow will require further testing.
With our current fleet in full operating condition we can support this operation at 600 gpm. It would require a dual 3” hose lay and an intermediate engine to relay pump to achieve this goal. Thing go down hill quickly at flows past 600 gpm.
Now jumping to a single lay 4” LDH we can expect some different results. At the 600 gpm flow rate, a single 1400’ line will be more than adequate. The limit for and 4” or 5” supply hose is 165 psi FL due to the maximum allowable pressure of an LDH of 185 psi and the required residual intake pressure of 20 psi. Using these numbers, you can see that the 4” hose begins to limit hose lengths at higher flows. At 800 gpm the maximum allowable length is 1300 feet. And at 1000 gpm the maximum allowable length is 900 feet.
And next with 5” single lay LDH we can expect even more distance and/or water flow. At flows up to 1000 gpm a 1400 foot line can be supported without any additional supply engines.
The other factor that I did not include in these calculations is elevation gain from hydrant #4 to building 191. The gain is approximately 80 feet, which equates to 40 psi of additional friction loss. This makes the 4” line a little sketchier in this example.
As I see it for the AFD there are several pros and cons for each type of supply line.
Pros:
Dual 3” – can be used with all existing adapters, hydrants, and hose.
– total weight of 50’ roll is 38 pounds.
LDH 4 or 5” – more water flow and/or longer lays with less apparatus.
– sexless coupling require no double male/female adapters.
Cons:
Dual 3” – high friction loss and limited flow/lengths.
– dual lays require additional coordination and setup.
LDH 4 or 5” – added expense of additional adapters and couplings.
– total weight of 100’ of 4” is 68 pounds and 5” is 84 pounds.
R.J. Bragg
Captain
Antarctic Fire Department
As I see it for the AFD there are several pros and cons for each type of supply line.
Pros:
Dual 3” – can be used with all existing adapters, hydrants, and hose.
– total weight of 50’ roll is 38 pounds.
LDH 4 or 5” – more water flow and/or longer lays with less apparatus.
– sexless coupling require no double male/female adapters.
Cons:
Dual 3” – high friction loss and limited flow/lengths.
– dual lays require additional coordination and setup.
LDH 4 or 5” – added expense of additional adapters and couplings.
– total weight of 100’ of 4” is 68 pounds and 5” is 84 pounds.
R.J. Bragg
Captain
Antarctic Fire Department
AFD Supply Line Debate Continues
Reply:
My fellow hose jockeys, through scientific studies, equations, and diagrams I will show you why smaller supply lines are in our favor rather than large diameter hose. Thank you to Walt the plumber and Kiwi Army Blackie & Nicole for their valued assistance.
To determine how much a hose line weighs we will complete the simple math equations to find out the specific weight of each hose diameter in question. In order to find the amount of water in a charged hose line we will use the Volume of a Cylinder Equation,
V = π x r² x h
V = Volume π = 3.14 r = Radius h = Height
First we must identity the characteristics of the hose in question.
5in Large Diameter Hose (LDH): π = 3.14 r = 2.5in h = 100ft
4in LDH: π = 3.14 r = 2in h = 100ft
3in: π = 3.14 r = 1.5in h = 100ft
All measurements must be converted to the same units to equate. Convert feet to inches.
Set up the problem for each hose diameter and solve.
V = 3.14 x 2.5² x 1200 = 23550in³
Using the cancellation table to cancel out all units, except the desired gallons.
V = 3.14 x 2² x 1200 = 15072in³
V = 3.14 x 1.5² x 1200 = 8478in³
Now water weighs roughly 8.33lbs/US Gallon. Figuring this and the weight of the hose will give us the total weight of the hose when full of water.
8.33 x 102 + 84 = 934 lbs for 5”
8.33 x 65 + 68 = 610 lbs for 4”
8.33 x 38 + 38 = 355 lbs for 3”
With temperatures regularly being below 32ºF/0ºC, the freezing point of water, it is common for hose lines in Antarctica to build ice accumulation. The ultimate question is this: would you rather try and maneuver the frozen 5” hose weighing 934 pounds or the 3” hose weighing only 355 pounds?
Conclusion: Frozen 3” is less than frozen 5” or 4” supply lines. Thank you.
(Courtesy of Lt Hardrick)
My fellow hose jockeys, through scientific studies, equations, and diagrams I will show you why smaller supply lines are in our favor rather than large diameter hose. Thank you to Walt the plumber and Kiwi Army Blackie & Nicole for their valued assistance.
To determine how much a hose line weighs we will complete the simple math equations to find out the specific weight of each hose diameter in question. In order to find the amount of water in a charged hose line we will use the Volume of a Cylinder Equation,
V = π x r² x h
V = Volume π = 3.14 r = Radius h = Height
First we must identity the characteristics of the hose in question.
5in Large Diameter Hose (LDH): π = 3.14 r = 2.5in h = 100ft
4in LDH: π = 3.14 r = 2in h = 100ft
3in: π = 3.14 r = 1.5in h = 100ft
All measurements must be converted to the same units to equate. Convert feet to inches.
Set up the problem for each hose diameter and solve.
V = 3.14 x 2.5² x 1200 = 23550in³
Using the cancellation table to cancel out all units, except the desired gallons.
V = 3.14 x 2² x 1200 = 15072in³
V = 3.14 x 1.5² x 1200 = 8478in³
Now water weighs roughly 8.33lbs/US Gallon. Figuring this and the weight of the hose will give us the total weight of the hose when full of water.
8.33 x 102 + 84 = 934 lbs for 5”
8.33 x 65 + 68 = 610 lbs for 4”
8.33 x 38 + 38 = 355 lbs for 3”
With temperatures regularly being below 32ºF/0ºC, the freezing point of water, it is common for hose lines in Antarctica to build ice accumulation. The ultimate question is this: would you rather try and maneuver the frozen 5” hose weighing 934 pounds or the 3” hose weighing only 355 pounds?
Conclusion: Frozen 3” is less than frozen 5” or 4” supply lines. Thank you.
(Courtesy of Lt Hardrick)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
sunny
winds ~30mph
temp 30 degrees
47 days til sunset
4 months til last sunset
8.5 months til first sunrise and arrival of Winfly personnel
Take my psych test next week and find out for sure if I'll winter or not!
At station 2- the ARFF station- today. It's a town holiday so there are no flights. Our only duties today are truck checks. The Pegasus shortcut road is closed (~8 miles), and no shuttles are running, so we borrowed a van with big tires and drove ourselves out at 1030 this morning. Tried for a land speed to Pegasus record yesterday.. but we were observed by watchers from LDB and trouble ensued. Being scrutinized very carefully this morning so 25 mph it is, and no faster. Hope to go out and see the old Pegasus crash.
Reading Polar Journeys, spending time online, calculating taxes, eating dim sum from brunch.
winds ~30mph
temp 30 degrees
47 days til sunset
4 months til last sunset
8.5 months til first sunrise and arrival of Winfly personnel
Take my psych test next week and find out for sure if I'll winter or not!
At station 2- the ARFF station- today. It's a town holiday so there are no flights. Our only duties today are truck checks. The Pegasus shortcut road is closed (~8 miles), and no shuttles are running, so we borrowed a van with big tires and drove ourselves out at 1030 this morning. Tried for a land speed to Pegasus record yesterday.. but we were observed by watchers from LDB and trouble ensued. Being scrutinized very carefully this morning so 25 mph it is, and no faster. Hope to go out and see the old Pegasus crash.
Reading Polar Journeys, spending time online, calculating taxes, eating dim sum from brunch.
Friday, January 1, 2010
IceStock!
14 hours of live local bands. Stage set up outside from noon-1800 (interesting fact about adapting to Antarctica- I eat about twice as much as at home, my body temp was normal at 96.7 degrees at last check, and now I can stand around outside in jeans and a sweatshirt in 30-40 degree temps for 6 hours without getting cold. Aided by lots of coffee with baileys.)
14 hours of live local bands. Stage set up outside from noon-1800 (interesting fact about adapting to Antarctica- I eat about twice as much as at home, my body temp was normal at 96.7 degrees at last check, and now I can stand around outside in jeans and a sweatshirt in 30-40 degree temps for 6 hours without getting cold. Aided by lots of coffee with baileys.)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Celestial Navigation
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
More pics from Pressure Ridges
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Life in McMurdo
Every now and then this message will unexpectedly come over the radio:
“Attention all stations, this is the firehouse with an emergency announcement. Power conservation has reached a critical state! Activate your power reduction plan immediately. Again, power conservation critical - activate your power reduction plan immediately. Time now xx:xx.”
Translation: turn off all your lights, radios, and TVs, or everything's going to go black!
Until recently McMurdo station ran on several large generators. Last year a massive power-plant replacement project began and we were cut back to 2 generators (+ an outdoor "cat-in-the-box" backup generator) producing 1400kw or so for the town. Occasionally usage will exceed production capacity and unless effective power reduction measures are taken immediately, the generator dumps a feeder and a third of the town or so will be blacked out for a good while. On Sept 3rd, we came within 7kw of shutdown. I'm not sure, but I think 7kw equates to about 4 of those little space heaters people like to run in their rooms when it's neg 80 outside. At the last moment enough people got word to shut off unneccesary electrical draws and we avoided a mess. Life on the edge!
Last year a catastrophic failure occurred in one of the main generators. It stretched into a long and interesting hazmat/MCI/fire coverage event as skeleton fire crews raced back and forth between covering incoming flights and mitigating a big hazmat spill. The SCBA compressor choose this moment to give up the ghost, further complicating an already sticky situation.
Since Mainbody things have been running pretty well on the 2 main gen.s and the cat in the box. We still have "momentaries", as they say in Maine, as feeders are endlessly switched back and forth to allow preventative maintenance of the machinery.
It's been very cool to watch the erection of three windmills above the town on Crater Hill (also home to T-site, the off-limits communications/antennae array for the station). They've been blasting footings and assembling the structures for a couple weeks now. So far one is spinning and looks operational, a second's fully assembled, and a third is up but on delay due to some key parts arriving broken. I'd like to look into the special challenges involved in building on permafrost on a volcano and keeping such machinery working through huge temperature extremes, months of unfiltered UV radiation, and some of the strongest winds on Earth. When the wind-power project is complete it should meet all the electric needs of Scott Base and power 25-30% of McMurdo!
Along with the new windmills, a re-vamped power plant is currently being outfitted with another Six generators of similar capacity to the current ones. There used to be more than 2 generators, but apparently they were dissasembled and shipped away. Why we were left with inadequate power supply, and why we will have such an excess supply in the future are questions that occupy many a McMurdo mind on long, cold nights. Personally, I suspect that oil has been discovered in McMurdo Sound and refining operations will begin as soon as the Antarctic Treaty expires.
At least building on Ross Island is simplified by the fact that, although we're sort of part of the Ring of Fire, Ross Island sits over a hot spot very similar to Hawaii. Mt Erebus is a huge shield volcano- broad and wide with thin, flowing lava that really doesn't create explosive eruptions. Antarctica in general is one of the least seismically active places on Earth, so buildings and other structures don't have to be engineered to withstand quakes. That said, infrastructure in McMurdo is pretty old on average... a couple of roofs on residential buildings failed to stand up to the winds and snow last winter! One of the town's structurally unsound central buildings has been condemned this year and FD volunteers have just finished gutting it out in preparation for demolition. Sadly, it used to hold a bowling alley, pottery kiln, and bouldering cave.
“Attention all stations, this is the firehouse with an emergency announcement. Power conservation has reached a critical state! Activate your power reduction plan immediately. Again, power conservation critical - activate your power reduction plan immediately. Time now xx:xx.”
Translation: turn off all your lights, radios, and TVs, or everything's going to go black!
Until recently McMurdo station ran on several large generators. Last year a massive power-plant replacement project began and we were cut back to 2 generators (+ an outdoor "cat-in-the-box" backup generator) producing 1400kw or so for the town. Occasionally usage will exceed production capacity and unless effective power reduction measures are taken immediately, the generator dumps a feeder and a third of the town or so will be blacked out for a good while. On Sept 3rd, we came within 7kw of shutdown. I'm not sure, but I think 7kw equates to about 4 of those little space heaters people like to run in their rooms when it's neg 80 outside. At the last moment enough people got word to shut off unneccesary electrical draws and we avoided a mess. Life on the edge!
Last year a catastrophic failure occurred in one of the main generators. It stretched into a long and interesting hazmat/MCI/fire coverage event as skeleton fire crews raced back and forth between covering incoming flights and mitigating a big hazmat spill. The SCBA compressor choose this moment to give up the ghost, further complicating an already sticky situation.
Since Mainbody things have been running pretty well on the 2 main gen.s and the cat in the box. We still have "momentaries", as they say in Maine, as feeders are endlessly switched back and forth to allow preventative maintenance of the machinery.
It's been very cool to watch the erection of three windmills above the town on Crater Hill (also home to T-site, the off-limits communications/antennae array for the station). They've been blasting footings and assembling the structures for a couple weeks now. So far one is spinning and looks operational, a second's fully assembled, and a third is up but on delay due to some key parts arriving broken. I'd like to look into the special challenges involved in building on permafrost on a volcano and keeping such machinery working through huge temperature extremes, months of unfiltered UV radiation, and some of the strongest winds on Earth. When the wind-power project is complete it should meet all the electric needs of Scott Base and power 25-30% of McMurdo!
Along with the new windmills, a re-vamped power plant is currently being outfitted with another Six generators of similar capacity to the current ones. There used to be more than 2 generators, but apparently they were dissasembled and shipped away. Why we were left with inadequate power supply, and why we will have such an excess supply in the future are questions that occupy many a McMurdo mind on long, cold nights. Personally, I suspect that oil has been discovered in McMurdo Sound and refining operations will begin as soon as the Antarctic Treaty expires.
At least building on Ross Island is simplified by the fact that, although we're sort of part of the Ring of Fire, Ross Island sits over a hot spot very similar to Hawaii. Mt Erebus is a huge shield volcano- broad and wide with thin, flowing lava that really doesn't create explosive eruptions. Antarctica in general is one of the least seismically active places on Earth, so buildings and other structures don't have to be engineered to withstand quakes. That said, infrastructure in McMurdo is pretty old on average... a couple of roofs on residential buildings failed to stand up to the winds and snow last winter! One of the town's structurally unsound central buildings has been condemned this year and FD volunteers have just finished gutting it out in preparation for demolition. Sadly, it used to hold a bowling alley, pottery kiln, and bouldering cave.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Pressure Ridges
Visited the pressure ridges near Scott Base recently. Pics courtesy of Mike on I-Drive
The northern edge of the extensive, flowing Ross Ice Shelf is folded and broken up into beautiful ice ridges when it meets the shore of Ross Island.
Weddell seals use the areas of open water in the pressure ridges as breathing holes. They are the only mammals that venture far under the Ice Shelf, therefore they have few natural enemies. Most seal species live to forty years, but Weddells wear down their teeth by chewing the ice around their breathing holes to keep them open. After about twenty years their teeth are severly worn and they starve.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I.... am a Librarian
Excerpt from a neat book I found while working at the library. It's got a lot of crazy ideas and a couple good ones:
"Here’s an exercise to try at home….
Watch the second hand as it passes around the face of the clock. Picture the moment of your death, perhaps many decades into the future, or perhaps only a few years or months (who can know?). Wait for the second hand to reach the top of the clock face, then watch as it records the passing of one minute of your life. Now imagine the clock counting down the minutes of your life to the moment of your death. Try this exercise picturing this moment a few decades in the future, then repeat it picturing the moment next year. Repeat it picturing the moment of your death next month. Next week. Tonight. After all, you never know.
Now observe the minute and hour hands on the clock. What were you doing at this time twenty-four hours ago? Forty-eight hours ago? One month ago? What will you be doing at this time next week?
Imagine that the moment of your death is one month away. Consider- if you knew this was true, what would you be doing right now? What would you be doing at this time tomorrow? Repeat this step, imagining your death to be one year away. Does this make very much difference to your thoughts about what you would do today and tomorrow if you knew the date of your death?
Compare your activities over the last twenty-four hours to the activities you would have chosen if you had known you would leave this world in one month or one year. Compare your activities over the last month, the last year, the last decade, to those you would have chosen if you had known that on this day you only had thirty days or twelve months left to live. How different would your life have been if you had known the date of your approaching death? Would you be ready to die in a month or a year, having lived the life that you have?
Chances are… that most of the people who read this text and participate in this exercise will live for many more years afterwards. But, still, look at the second hand of the clock, and follow it as it records the passing minutes, counting down the minutes of your life that remain to you as they slip away. Are you living the life that you want to live? Are you living a life that, at any given moment, you could look back upon with satisfaction if you suddenly realized it was about to end? Are you living the sort of life that you would wish upon a human being, a life that is exciting and full, that is well spent, every minute of it? If the answer is no, what can you do in the time that still remains to you- however long or short that may be- to make your life more like the one you would like to live? For we all have a limited amount of time granted to us in this world- we should use it with this in mind.
...If you find, looking back upon your life, that you have spent years living without any consideration of your mortality, this is not really unusual, for our social/cultural environment does not encourage us to think much about the limits that nature places on our lives. Death and aging are denied and hidden away as if they were shameful and embarrassing. The older members of our society are hidden away in “retirement homes” like lepers in leper colonies. The billboards, magazines, photos, and television commercials that meet our eyes at every turn show only images of healthy men and women in the prime of their life. …When a man dies, the rituals which once would have celebrated his life and brought the subject of human mortality to those who survived him are now often regarded as mere inconveniences. …there is no time for death in today’s busy world of corporate mergers and record-breaking conspicuous consumption.
And indeed if we were to stop and ponder the subject, perhaps we would find that when we seriously consider the limits of our time on this planet, keeping up with the television comedies and having a good resume seem less important than they did before. Our cultural silence about human mortality allows us to forget how much weight the individual moments of our lives carry, adding up as they do to our lives themselves. Thus we squander countless hours watching television or balancing checkbooks, hours that in retrospect we might have better spent walking on the seashore with our loved ones, cooking gourmet meals for our children and friends, writing fiction, or hitchkiking across South America. The reality of our future death is not easy for any of us to come to terms with, but it is surely better that we consider this now than regret not doing so when it is too late.
Our denial of death has a deeper significance, beyond its function as a reaction to our fear of mortality and a selective blindness that helps us preserve the status quo. It is a symptom of our ongoing struggle to escape the cycles of change in nature and establish an unnatural permanence in the world. Our mortality is frightening evidence that we do not have control over everything; thus we are quick to ignore it, if we cannot do away with it altogether- a feat towards which our medical researches are working… it is worth questioning whether this would even be desirable.
Since the dawn of western civilization, men and women have hungered for the domination of not only the world and each other, but also for the domination of the seasons, of time itself. We speak of the eternal grandeur of gods and empires. And we design our cities and corporations to exist into infinity. We build monuments, spyscrapers, which we intend to stand forever as a testimony of our victory over the sands of time. But this victory can only come at a price, at this price; that though nothing passes away, nothing comes to be, either-that the world we create is a static, standardized place that can hold no surprises for us any more. We would do well to be wary of fulfilling our own darkest dreams by creating such a dystopia, a frozen world in which no one must fear death anymore, for everyone exists forever and no one lives for even an instant. "
-From Days of War, Nights of Love… Crimethink
"Here’s an exercise to try at home….
Watch the second hand as it passes around the face of the clock. Picture the moment of your death, perhaps many decades into the future, or perhaps only a few years or months (who can know?). Wait for the second hand to reach the top of the clock face, then watch as it records the passing of one minute of your life. Now imagine the clock counting down the minutes of your life to the moment of your death. Try this exercise picturing this moment a few decades in the future, then repeat it picturing the moment next year. Repeat it picturing the moment of your death next month. Next week. Tonight. After all, you never know.
Now observe the minute and hour hands on the clock. What were you doing at this time twenty-four hours ago? Forty-eight hours ago? One month ago? What will you be doing at this time next week?
Imagine that the moment of your death is one month away. Consider- if you knew this was true, what would you be doing right now? What would you be doing at this time tomorrow? Repeat this step, imagining your death to be one year away. Does this make very much difference to your thoughts about what you would do today and tomorrow if you knew the date of your death?
Compare your activities over the last twenty-four hours to the activities you would have chosen if you had known you would leave this world in one month or one year. Compare your activities over the last month, the last year, the last decade, to those you would have chosen if you had known that on this day you only had thirty days or twelve months left to live. How different would your life have been if you had known the date of your approaching death? Would you be ready to die in a month or a year, having lived the life that you have?
Chances are… that most of the people who read this text and participate in this exercise will live for many more years afterwards. But, still, look at the second hand of the clock, and follow it as it records the passing minutes, counting down the minutes of your life that remain to you as they slip away. Are you living the life that you want to live? Are you living a life that, at any given moment, you could look back upon with satisfaction if you suddenly realized it was about to end? Are you living the sort of life that you would wish upon a human being, a life that is exciting and full, that is well spent, every minute of it? If the answer is no, what can you do in the time that still remains to you- however long or short that may be- to make your life more like the one you would like to live? For we all have a limited amount of time granted to us in this world- we should use it with this in mind.
...If you find, looking back upon your life, that you have spent years living without any consideration of your mortality, this is not really unusual, for our social/cultural environment does not encourage us to think much about the limits that nature places on our lives. Death and aging are denied and hidden away as if they were shameful and embarrassing. The older members of our society are hidden away in “retirement homes” like lepers in leper colonies. The billboards, magazines, photos, and television commercials that meet our eyes at every turn show only images of healthy men and women in the prime of their life. …When a man dies, the rituals which once would have celebrated his life and brought the subject of human mortality to those who survived him are now often regarded as mere inconveniences. …there is no time for death in today’s busy world of corporate mergers and record-breaking conspicuous consumption.
And indeed if we were to stop and ponder the subject, perhaps we would find that when we seriously consider the limits of our time on this planet, keeping up with the television comedies and having a good resume seem less important than they did before. Our cultural silence about human mortality allows us to forget how much weight the individual moments of our lives carry, adding up as they do to our lives themselves. Thus we squander countless hours watching television or balancing checkbooks, hours that in retrospect we might have better spent walking on the seashore with our loved ones, cooking gourmet meals for our children and friends, writing fiction, or hitchkiking across South America. The reality of our future death is not easy for any of us to come to terms with, but it is surely better that we consider this now than regret not doing so when it is too late.
Our denial of death has a deeper significance, beyond its function as a reaction to our fear of mortality and a selective blindness that helps us preserve the status quo. It is a symptom of our ongoing struggle to escape the cycles of change in nature and establish an unnatural permanence in the world. Our mortality is frightening evidence that we do not have control over everything; thus we are quick to ignore it, if we cannot do away with it altogether- a feat towards which our medical researches are working… it is worth questioning whether this would even be desirable.
Since the dawn of western civilization, men and women have hungered for the domination of not only the world and each other, but also for the domination of the seasons, of time itself. We speak of the eternal grandeur of gods and empires. And we design our cities and corporations to exist into infinity. We build monuments, spyscrapers, which we intend to stand forever as a testimony of our victory over the sands of time. But this victory can only come at a price, at this price; that though nothing passes away, nothing comes to be, either-that the world we create is a static, standardized place that can hold no surprises for us any more. We would do well to be wary of fulfilling our own darkest dreams by creating such a dystopia, a frozen world in which no one must fear death anymore, for everyone exists forever and no one lives for even an instant. "
-From Days of War, Nights of Love… Crimethink
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